So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
