I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
