Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
