I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
