Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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