I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
