So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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