Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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