New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
