I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
