I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
