Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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