Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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