Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
