We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
