we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
