He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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