he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
