just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
