Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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