thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize