He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
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