Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My vagina just recognized that song.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
