hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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