Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
