dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
