Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I need to align my fucking chakras
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize