White coat. Heels.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my being single is dangerous.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
