i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
