My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
