I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
