i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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