Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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