Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She needs sedatives and a leash
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
