she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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