Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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