Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
