we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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