so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
you had me at cake vodka
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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