Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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