he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
