yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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