So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
