Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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