i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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