If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
