Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
