Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
