How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
