what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
