I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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