I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize