Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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