Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
