K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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