third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
