So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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