Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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