stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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