she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
