Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think a kid would responsible me up
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
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