Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
