i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
