kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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